10 reasons why G-A-G-A and B-C-B-C are in love (as friends)


[I’m sharing this because friend-love matters too]

A few weeks ago, I watched “A Star is Born” with one of my closest girlfriends on her couch — no babies, no husbands, no pressing obligations — just us, a TV, and some take-out lunch.

Breathe that in.

It was amazing.

Despite being completely crushed at the end of the movie from the weight of the story, the performances, and how it all came crashing down (this is not a spoiler, this movie has been done before), a few days later I was over it. Not thinking about it. Then, two weeks later I was obsessed.

Not with the movie as a separate entity, like usual. With the performances, the original songs, the concerts, Bradley’s greasy hair and hoarse voice, Gaga’s beautiful mousy brown hair and elegant nose… I could go on.

What did they do to us?

It’s what they continued doing to us, too.

After I got over being crushed, I started slowly reading a few tidbits here and there about the couple. Then I watched their Vegas performance of “Shallow” and was hooked again. Top it all off with Gaga’s new tattoos, and then Oscars performance.

My girlfriends and I had a “live text” group during the Oscars. Ha! And we are all STILL asking the question EVERY SANE PERSON is asking right now: “Are they in love or what?”

I’ve landed on “or what.” Here’s why:

  1. They are honestly very close right now. In love. As people.
  2. We, the watchers, are trying to label that love.
  3. They’ve captured something special and real during the making of this movie.
  4. They have decided to tap into it, share it, and not hold it back from us, the watchers.
  5. It’s joy. It’s friendship. It’s love.
  6. AND… It’s part of the story, the performance, the movie’s “moment.”
  7. They have really thought about how they come across, how they put “it” out there.
  8. It’s not a coincidence, but it’s not fake.
  9. This is more realness than we’re used to seeing from co-stars who play people in love on the screen.
  10. They ARE IN LOVE. As friends.

Or, maybe they’re in love as lovers and will make a life together, forever. The end.

Heel, girl

The other day I was driving into work in downtown Raleigh. I was stopped at a light when three people crossed in front of my car: two men in suits and a woman in a dress and very high heels.

All the same age. All similar in many ways except one.

She struggled. She just couldn’t keep up with the guys. They had on sensible walking shoes, she had on heels.

It was just an instant but the picture of the two men talking and striding along, and the woman struggling to keep up and stay in the conversation lingered with me through the day. And now a few days later, I’m still thinking about it.

Here’s what I keep thinking about: Why do women still do things, and particularly wear things, that don’t really make sense, especially for work?

For many of us, at work we are part of a pack, a group. We go to lunch. We go to meetings. We have to look at each other, and walk together, and get stuff done. Together.

I stopped wearing heels what feels like ages ago because I simply stopped feeling like it mattered enough to put myself through the pain. Sound extreme? If you’re a guy reading this, I promise you it’s not. If you’re a gal reading this, you know and are nodding your head.

I love fashion. I love trends. I love weird jewelry and fun clothes and people’s quirky preferences. If you think about it, heels fit into the category of “trendy,” albeit a long-lasting one. And, they DO look awesome sometimes.

But what I don’t love is fashion that holds us back.

What I’m not saying is change your style to fit in. What I am saying is what if women felt more comfortable being comfortable? Would our feet become our friends and would our minds be more focused on the task at hand?

‘Sparking joy’ boosts thrift stores around the country

I don’t know if this is true… but it must be, right?

There are themes that run throughout Instagram, and I’ve never seen so many people I know personally under the same spell at the same time. The same posts of empty closets and Kondo-folded clothes.


It’s also hilarious when everyone gets on the same kic because we all have the same problems. Too much stuff. Ads selling us crap all the time. And we’re human… we have the need for things to fix stuff in our lives.

It’s so new year’s resolution-y of us.

Whether it’s poor drainage or competing for the cutest work outfit or a lonely heart. We want to buy something to make it better.

It’s a good fix a lot of the time, but it accumulates like the snow in January in New York. Then we have to haul it all out every once in a while to freaking breathe.

Enter Marie Kondo and her gift of simplicity and minimalism. Her motto: If it doesn’t make you feel good, get rid of it. The premise is that you don’t NEED any of these things to live. They’re extra.

And what do we do with our extra stuff–whether it’s extra because it’s worn down or not useful anymore or we aren’t into paisley print this year?

Get ready to hit your local thrift store for all the new-to-you awesome stuff you can handle… you don’t want to miss out on that Barbados coffee mug, do you?

3 issues with “date night”

Date night is a thing now. Before it was just a regular weekend or sometimes a week day.

Issue #1

I have to think about when to put on my good clothes and when to wear clothes that can get messy. By “good clothes” I mean black jeans and a clean shirt. By “clothes that can get messy” I mean a diaper cream stain on my pants and a red, spaghetti mouth swipe on my shirt.

So when we started to get ready for one of our rare date nights recently, I had two thoughts: When should I change into my good clothes? And, did I really need to shower?

Issue #2

Showers are luxuries. Long showers are just radical.

Radical, like, “honey, enjoying shower/bath time is for the baby.” The baby who needs to be able to take her bath with the water running the whole time so her experience is that of a tropical vacation complete with its own private waterfall. And rubber ducky, of course.

We’re not only trying to be good parents, we’re saving the planet too, ya know.

Then there’s the ease with which I can now dismiss the need for a shower. I figured to get out on this most-recent date night in a relaxed and jovial mood, I might just have to roll with things and miss my window for a shower. I was fine.

My mother-in-law, however, exists in the land of the frequently showered and scooted me down the hall, reassuring me “it will be fine, dear.”

Issue #3

Even when you shower and put on your good clothes at the right time, you’re still the new you.

The new parent-you.

The you that orders the loaded fries on date night and eats them so feverishly that the rooms fills with a heavy aroma and melted cheese stains your cute, black leggings.

But your husband is a new him too, and it’s fine.